Anyone else feel like they were put on this earth strictly to live a miserable life, and die unhappy?

I am 22, and I have been in the hospital psych unit 22 times. I have spent my whole summer dealing with bulimia and anorexia. Well I guess I flipping out majorly because i went from 95 lbs to 105 lbs and I feel like ive failed myself. I am 5'6 and I still look fat. Every girl i've ever liked doesn't like me back. I have attempted suicide more times than I can count. I quit smoking and cutting months ago and just went and got a pack of cigarettes. I am really hoping I can quit again by tomarrow. I have informed everyone on my facebook that I have once again shut off my phone. Now I have just informed them that I am shutting off my facebook. I haven't seen my friends all summer. I really really want to die, once again. I am not going back to the hospital under any cirstances, because that is one of the thinga that gets me shunned as it is. Who would ever want someone with that many problems? I am on the verge of cutting right about now. I guess this would be considered a mental break. I have honestly never felt so impulsive or bad then I do right now. I already swallowed a bunch of laxatives, and am currently binging. My childhood was horrible, and my family does not even notice that I am skeletal. Theyve never noticed, just always ped it off as a phase. Anyone else ever felt like this?